Eating Crow

I have officially parted ways with Lance, the bromance is over.   Make no doubt about it, I was pretty fascinated with Lance and totally marvelled at his perseverance.  The fact is , it has become difficult for me to support a plight based on a foundation of now obvious corruption and scandal.   What Lance is terming as a “witch hunt”  is hardly believable anymore.  There are just too many colleagues pointing the finger.  I find it hard to believe so many would call him out just for shits and giggles.  I like what I hear from the majority of the peloton today though when asked about it,  the reply is often that was then, its history, carry on.  Today’s rider is a new breed,  clean, fit and fast.  Sure, I might be a tad naïve,  but I choose to take the positive road today,  and I do believe the circuit has cleaned up its act.   I don’t want  to miss quote Simon Whitfield,  but I think he mentioned somewhere that he actually felt bad for him.  I would say that’s what I am left with today as well.  How can you not really. Here is a guy that came back from the brink,  kicked death in the teeth and has continued to fight hard for so many others.  I don’t know how he is going to live with this on his conscience.  I hope in the end, the truth comes out

 In regards to the comeback trail over in my camp,  all is very well.   Three days In  the books and feeling great.  The physio regime I am rocking is pictured on the right.   Five exercises and some stationary pedaling.   It may not seem like much,  but trust me,  it is for the shape I’m in. Lots of reps,  basically working to fatigue.  My left side had half of the strength of the right.   I’ve lost it all.  The danger here now is coming back too strong too early on a frame that is not fit to take it.  Long way to go, but  I will get there. I’ll know on November 13^th if I can start rocking the run again.  The focus now is diet and fitness

If you can, watch the Ironman World Championship on Sunday via a live stream.  It doesn't get any better then this battle on that battleground!

96 hours

and we have a perfect landing. Very very minimal swelling left, absolutely no pain. Lets get down to business.

* Tuesday – Post OP where I will be told there is zero arthritis. A small piece was clipped out, the baker’s cyst has dissolved and the minimal MCL damage has repaired itself

* Wednesday October 10th – Post physio appointment booked to set up 3 months of the most enjoyable 90 days of effort ahead. (no running don’t worry).

“You can quit, and they won’t care, but you will always know”

- John Collins, the founder of Ironman

48 Hours

 

and morale is high. That was my first surgery, hopefully my last, of any kind. The only item of any substance would be my overall impression. I was kind of caught off guard with the scope, pun intended, of the entire process really. I suppose I had it in my head being “day surgery” and all that this would be a walk in the park.

Firstly, from the pre registration manual I got, I read somewhere that I had the option of choosing a local, regional or general aesthetic. Right on, I figured that I would go with the local and maybe I’ll get a chance to watch this whole thing on a monitor. Turns out that this scripture is in fact very dated. I later learned from my mother, a retired nurse of 35 years, that the new operating program will push you to general anaesthetic so they can essentially release you asap. Spinal or regional would have meant a longer paralysis and likely would have meant an over night stay. So there I was, instantly hooked up to IV without any choice, boom, just like that the anxiety started to set in. The apex of fear came hours later when I was laying there the cold, dreary, atypical pale green hallway about to go into my operating room, only just an arms length away. I had doctors and nurses going back in forth beside me. I overheard a multitude of conversations making the moment for me all the more surreal. A Doctor arguing with with someone via a cell phone about using the car, another sharing a laugh about a gym incident earlier in the day. Just to add to my anxiety level, I couldn’t see anything, as they don’t allow contacts or glasses, which for me are truly bottle bottoms.   Reality hit home when I could hear my surgeon, the great Dr Tran, orating to a recorder “patient Hackwood, Christopher, complex and lateral tear with evident flap, partial MCL tearing....” Then, in an instant I was hurried in, an orderly on either side, arm and arm. I was quickly strapped to the table, told to take some deep breaths of oxygen while staring up at the classic triplex of very formidable light. The last thing I remember was visualizing a 3:20 finish, crossing the line waving a banner with “Boston” inscribed on it.

I will know all of the details on my post op appointment Tuesday of next week where I remain hopeful that sublime visualizations can in fact become reality.

"Never ever ever quit"

On the Eve of Change

            I guess it all comes down to this, a simple 60 minute arthroscopy which will determine the fate of my running existence, at least, here on this planet, in this lifetime.  Let’s suppose for a minute though, regardless of my fate on Monday, maybe I’ve laid the foundation for greater achievements in another world, another existence.   Maybe I’ll be the next Alberto Salazar out kicking Dick Beardsley to finish of the 1982 Boston marathon in the infamous “Duel in the Sun” and end up in emergency taking in fluids because I didn’t drink anything during the race.   How about the next Haile Gebrselassie, at 35, serving notice and telling the running world that “ I am the champ” by running a 2:03:59, that still remains to be beat in the masters running world today.  Maybe I’ll be one of Mark Allen or Dave Scott battling out “ironwar” in 1989.  Shoulder to Shoulder for 8 hours only to finish 58 seconds apart in arguably the greatest race ever, period.  I would take any of that, but seriously, truthfully, I would be more then blessed, grateful and satiated to be able to just run again, here, today, in my lifetime.  Watch or no watch, race or morning jog,  I just want to run in some form.   Hopefully, Monday September 24^th, will be just that positive turning point in my life, where that opportunity will once again be put before me.  It will be a classic example of rebirth.  I’ll be starting all over, from the very beginning where once again, I’ll experience the magic of a 5 min stumbling jog that turns into a glorious marathon finish.  It’s the place where awesome does in fact truly happen.  It’s where 40 lbs of fat and mountains of stress disappear and where the creative, soulful mind flourishes and comes to the forefront. 

My congrats and thanks to my pals Annabel, Norm and Pamela.   Congratulations for your tremendous achievements this summer, and thanks for sharing your stories and offering up the required remedy of inspiration to fuel my living dreams. 

It’s been a long summer and I can’t wait for Monday.

The Dog Days of Physio

Not going to lie, this is a tough go.  So happy to see some pals really pushing it this year hitting some big milestones.  One good bud of mine caught the running bug only a few years ago. He is down 50 + lbs now, looking to chop six minutes off of his half marathon PB to qualify for the NYC half marathon at 1:30.  The jealousy is truly raging.   That is a challenge I would covet.

For now, I’m eagerly awaiting my July 3^rd consult for surgery.   I said it from the start, I knew I needed surgery.  I’m even more of a believer of the need now.  While I have benefited greatly from my physiotherapy which has become pretty intensive,   I must have meniscal surgery if I’m ever to run again.   It is possible,   I may even go for the more evasive operation which is not arthroscopic and will literally take 6-8 months to come back from.  Whatever it is, I’m prepared to make the commitment, whatever it takes.   Life is too short, way too short. 

So on the physio front.   I played 2 rounds of golf last week,  back to back, which is not ideal for the meniscus.   I went in for a session last night in as bad as shape I’ve been in since the injury.  Get this,  A piece of tape, on my bottom left foot,  about 4 inches wrapped from the bottom on the medial side to the top and see you later pain.  That simple procedure takes the pressure off of the meniscus altogether, amazing.  The good news so far in the 4 weeks is that I have the VMO firing again.  What I mean by that is that I got myself into a position where I was actually losing muscle mass from running and aging of course.  When I started training back in December,  my left quad became so weak it was not firing like my right.  We figure the likely scenario,  is that this injury was born out of weakness, not freakiness. 

I’m thoroughly enjoying the spinning right now.  It’s been so good I’m actually going to take the bike to the cottage for the long weekend upcoming and pound off some big rides in the 80k distance.  I have slowly increased my rides from 15 to 45 minutes and subsequently started to shed some layoff weight.  More to follow on July 4^th.    

Keep running y’all,  you never know when the privilege will be taken from you!

The Unhappy Triad

I love Canada.  A special shout out and big ups for Tommy Douglas and Lester Pearson.  How can I not love those guys right now?  Specifically, the earlier for our health care’s inception the later for its expansion.  I sit here today, right now,  blessed and thoroughly grateful for the amazing care I am getting from the local branch of Athlete’s Care here in the beach.    Chef totally recommends!   I  feel  like I’m getting Olympic style treatment.  Seriously its been outstanding. Now I am guilty of too much “running” fantasy from time to time….

“…..and down the final 400 they come……its Hackwood,  first to enter Wembley stadium,  can you believe this folks….just one lap of the track and this 41 year old ex-smoker, toker, and joker  is going to have gold in the mens Olympic…. (masters) ……marathon for Canada”

 Yep ,  no doubt I have some issues however,  no fantasy here though. In a very short time span amongst today’s savagely taxed and beaten health care system I got a diagnosis, treatment, MRI, and full on  physio both with real substance and education.  To top it all off,  I have an upcoming arthroscopy with one of the best there is,  Dr David Tran, all within 7 months.    

Thankfully I’m not suffering from the unhappy triad, otherwise known as an MCL, ACL and Meniscal injury.  Here is what I am rocking though from the MRI

·         A Double oblique tear posterior  horn with an evident flap fold over

·         A “Baker’s”  cyst.   Its named after the William Baker, the surgeon whom made the diagnosis of a benign swelling of the synovial bursa sac behind the knee.

·         Mild sprain of the MCL with some noted tearing or “shrapnel” my doc noted.

I’ll get into some real substance in my next post.   Some of the things I learned from physio about our body and training I must share.   How about visual acuity and the meniscus a relationship.  Sounds crazy, but there is a synergy there hence why I am now doing blind single leg balancing,  virtually re-training my meniscus to provide balance and force the muscle group around my knee to fire properly.  Cool eh!    More on this later.  

I’m  back on the stationary trainer, and working 4 main exercises to really pre opp my knee for July.    Started the training diet to shed 25 lbs,  and get ready for base train again in the fall.   

Last note, thumbs down to Ironman 70.3 Muskoka  and the World Endurance Canada.  They refunded me 75.00 of 230 for my entry fee for the September Race.   Brutal, cash grab at its finest.  They wouldn’t even offer me a deferral to 2013 either. 

The Comeback 3.0

Here we are, well into Spring in the city, a glorious Spring at that.  A little strange,  tulips, cherry blossoms blooming a little early.  I wish that were the case for my budding running/triathlon  year. The positive,  been off running totally for 6 weeks and am now completely pain free.  Not so fast though, before you shout out loud and give me a couple of solid air punches of glee we still do not have clearance for takeoff.  Certainly, pain free is awesome, but for certain, I have some sort of tear/cartildge issue.   The joint clicking, patellar sub-lexing, occasional instability and knee stiffness remain.   I’m sure I’ll get a few weeks into a “start again” mode only to have the severe pain and swelling return.   So here is the status of where we are.

May 25^th – 04:00 MRI -  Finally,  this will tell me if I’m in the hurtlocker for good ie)  Arthritis, bone on bone,  repairable meniscal damage ,  etc etc.  Until I get those details let us not speculate. 

The one thing I will say, I have had a number of very positive conversations with some knowledgeable, experienced people in the field, both doctors and recovering athletes alike.  One such standout for me was with Kevin Mackinnon from Ironman.com.  Kevin is a former Ironman now coach and managing editor at Ironman.com, a graduate from Ryerson University.    Kevin endured a complete menisectomy  a few years back and has recovered enough to stay fit.  Additionally, coaches  a runner that experienced the exact same symptoms and injury progression .  His student, in a similar age category, had the meniscal surgery,  some repair and edge removal only to return a few weeks later and continue competing and has been for over 2 years pain free.   Who knows, maybe I am in the similar situation.

I have now returned to full physio and what I call “building a runner”.    I’ve mentioned it in the past, now  is the perfect time to start from ground zero.  I’m currently pushing a number of key exercises to rebuild the VMO ( note picture).   The picture doesn’t do it justice, but essentially,   this is where my issues originated from.  I virtually have zero VMO on my left quad.  Additionally, the muscle atrophy of being on the shelf has only deteriorated further.  Moreover,   this injury does not limit my opportunity to work a core and weight program which we have started.  All real easy stuff for 4-6 weeks .  I jumped on the scale at my mother in law’s place on the weekend ,  we are back to 177 (a full 10lbs of fat addition) Not so bad, suppose it could be worse, but I need to now get right off the booze, sugar and useless carb intake.   

Some of the keys workouts;  quad over fulcrum,  static knee resistance band extension, and static inner quad contraction.   All isolated work outs to get that VMO back up and firing.   If surgery is a reality, this will only help get me back sooner.

So welcome, comeback 3.0,  I relish this challenge and fully intend to rock this.   Take note of the inspirational quote .

“as you get older it becomes less of a chore to run and you realise what an awesome privilege it is”  - Nick Willis

Nail on the head Nick.  If you are reading this and not seizing the day in some shape, way or  form,  then you are missing out on something so rich, I can’t do it justice by putting it into words, so I won’t!

Keep your fingers crossed for me,  the Boston Dream lives on!