48 Hours

 

and morale is high. That was my first surgery, hopefully my last, of any kind. The only item of any substance would be my overall impression. I was kind of caught off guard with the scope, pun intended, of the entire process really. I suppose I had it in my head being “day surgery” and all that this would be a walk in the park.

Firstly, from the pre registration manual I got, I read somewhere that I had the option of choosing a local, regional or general aesthetic. Right on, I figured that I would go with the local and maybe I’ll get a chance to watch this whole thing on a monitor. Turns out that this scripture is in fact very dated. I later learned from my mother, a retired nurse of 35 years, that the new operating program will push you to general anaesthetic so they can essentially release you asap. Spinal or regional would have meant a longer paralysis and likely would have meant an over night stay. So there I was, instantly hooked up to IV without any choice, boom, just like that the anxiety started to set in. The apex of fear came hours later when I was laying there the cold, dreary, atypical pale green hallway about to go into my operating room, only just an arms length away. I had doctors and nurses going back in forth beside me. I overheard a multitude of conversations making the moment for me all the more surreal. A Doctor arguing with with someone via a cell phone about using the car, another sharing a laugh about a gym incident earlier in the day. Just to add to my anxiety level, I couldn’t see anything, as they don’t allow contacts or glasses, which for me are truly bottle bottoms.   Reality hit home when I could hear my surgeon, the great Dr Tran, orating to a recorder “patient Hackwood, Christopher, complex and lateral tear with evident flap, partial MCL tearing....” Then, in an instant I was hurried in, an orderly on either side, arm and arm. I was quickly strapped to the table, told to take some deep breaths of oxygen while staring up at the classic triplex of very formidable light. The last thing I remember was visualizing a 3:20 finish, crossing the line waving a banner with “Boston” inscribed on it.

I will know all of the details on my post op appointment Tuesday of next week where I remain hopeful that sublime visualizations can in fact become reality.

"Never ever ever quit"

On the Eve of Change

            I guess it all comes down to this, a simple 60 minute arthroscopy which will determine the fate of my running existence, at least, here on this planet, in this lifetime.  Let’s suppose for a minute though, regardless of my fate on Monday, maybe I’ve laid the foundation for greater achievements in another world, another existence.   Maybe I’ll be the next Alberto Salazar out kicking Dick Beardsley to finish of the 1982 Boston marathon in the infamous “Duel in the Sun” and end up in emergency taking in fluids because I didn’t drink anything during the race.   How about the next Haile Gebrselassie, at 35, serving notice and telling the running world that “ I am the champ” by running a 2:03:59, that still remains to be beat in the masters running world today.  Maybe I’ll be one of Mark Allen or Dave Scott battling out “ironwar” in 1989.  Shoulder to Shoulder for 8 hours only to finish 58 seconds apart in arguably the greatest race ever, period.  I would take any of that, but seriously, truthfully, I would be more then blessed, grateful and satiated to be able to just run again, here, today, in my lifetime.  Watch or no watch, race or morning jog,  I just want to run in some form.   Hopefully, Monday September 24^th, will be just that positive turning point in my life, where that opportunity will once again be put before me.  It will be a classic example of rebirth.  I’ll be starting all over, from the very beginning where once again, I’ll experience the magic of a 5 min stumbling jog that turns into a glorious marathon finish.  It’s the place where awesome does in fact truly happen.  It’s where 40 lbs of fat and mountains of stress disappear and where the creative, soulful mind flourishes and comes to the forefront. 

My congrats and thanks to my pals Annabel, Norm and Pamela.   Congratulations for your tremendous achievements this summer, and thanks for sharing your stories and offering up the required remedy of inspiration to fuel my living dreams. 

It’s been a long summer and I can’t wait for Monday.

The Dog Days of Physio

Not going to lie, this is a tough go.  So happy to see some pals really pushing it this year hitting some big milestones.  One good bud of mine caught the running bug only a few years ago. He is down 50 + lbs now, looking to chop six minutes off of his half marathon PB to qualify for the NYC half marathon at 1:30.  The jealousy is truly raging.   That is a challenge I would covet.

For now, I’m eagerly awaiting my July 3^rd consult for surgery.   I said it from the start, I knew I needed surgery.  I’m even more of a believer of the need now.  While I have benefited greatly from my physiotherapy which has become pretty intensive,   I must have meniscal surgery if I’m ever to run again.   It is possible,   I may even go for the more evasive operation which is not arthroscopic and will literally take 6-8 months to come back from.  Whatever it is, I’m prepared to make the commitment, whatever it takes.   Life is too short, way too short. 

So on the physio front.   I played 2 rounds of golf last week,  back to back, which is not ideal for the meniscus.   I went in for a session last night in as bad as shape I’ve been in since the injury.  Get this,  A piece of tape, on my bottom left foot,  about 4 inches wrapped from the bottom on the medial side to the top and see you later pain.  That simple procedure takes the pressure off of the meniscus altogether, amazing.  The good news so far in the 4 weeks is that I have the VMO firing again.  What I mean by that is that I got myself into a position where I was actually losing muscle mass from running and aging of course.  When I started training back in December,  my left quad became so weak it was not firing like my right.  We figure the likely scenario,  is that this injury was born out of weakness, not freakiness. 

I’m thoroughly enjoying the spinning right now.  It’s been so good I’m actually going to take the bike to the cottage for the long weekend upcoming and pound off some big rides in the 80k distance.  I have slowly increased my rides from 15 to 45 minutes and subsequently started to shed some layoff weight.  More to follow on July 4^th.    

Keep running y’all,  you never know when the privilege will be taken from you!

The Unhappy Triad

I love Canada.  A special shout out and big ups for Tommy Douglas and Lester Pearson.  How can I not love those guys right now?  Specifically, the earlier for our health care’s inception the later for its expansion.  I sit here today, right now,  blessed and thoroughly grateful for the amazing care I am getting from the local branch of Athlete’s Care here in the beach.    Chef totally recommends!   I  feel  like I’m getting Olympic style treatment.  Seriously its been outstanding. Now I am guilty of too much “running” fantasy from time to time….

“…..and down the final 400 they come……its Hackwood,  first to enter Wembley stadium,  can you believe this folks….just one lap of the track and this 41 year old ex-smoker, toker, and joker  is going to have gold in the mens Olympic…. (masters) ……marathon for Canada”

 Yep ,  no doubt I have some issues however,  no fantasy here though. In a very short time span amongst today’s savagely taxed and beaten health care system I got a diagnosis, treatment, MRI, and full on  physio both with real substance and education.  To top it all off,  I have an upcoming arthroscopy with one of the best there is,  Dr David Tran, all within 7 months.    

Thankfully I’m not suffering from the unhappy triad, otherwise known as an MCL, ACL and Meniscal injury.  Here is what I am rocking though from the MRI

·         A Double oblique tear posterior  horn with an evident flap fold over

·         A “Baker’s”  cyst.   Its named after the William Baker, the surgeon whom made the diagnosis of a benign swelling of the synovial bursa sac behind the knee.

·         Mild sprain of the MCL with some noted tearing or “shrapnel” my doc noted.

I’ll get into some real substance in my next post.   Some of the things I learned from physio about our body and training I must share.   How about visual acuity and the meniscus a relationship.  Sounds crazy, but there is a synergy there hence why I am now doing blind single leg balancing,  virtually re-training my meniscus to provide balance and force the muscle group around my knee to fire properly.  Cool eh!    More on this later.  

I’m  back on the stationary trainer, and working 4 main exercises to really pre opp my knee for July.    Started the training diet to shed 25 lbs,  and get ready for base train again in the fall.   

Last note, thumbs down to Ironman 70.3 Muskoka  and the World Endurance Canada.  They refunded me 75.00 of 230 for my entry fee for the September Race.   Brutal, cash grab at its finest.  They wouldn’t even offer me a deferral to 2013 either. 

The Comeback 3.0

Here we are, well into Spring in the city, a glorious Spring at that.  A little strange,  tulips, cherry blossoms blooming a little early.  I wish that were the case for my budding running/triathlon  year. The positive,  been off running totally for 6 weeks and am now completely pain free.  Not so fast though, before you shout out loud and give me a couple of solid air punches of glee we still do not have clearance for takeoff.  Certainly, pain free is awesome, but for certain, I have some sort of tear/cartildge issue.   The joint clicking, patellar sub-lexing, occasional instability and knee stiffness remain.   I’m sure I’ll get a few weeks into a “start again” mode only to have the severe pain and swelling return.   So here is the status of where we are.

May 25^th – 04:00 MRI -  Finally,  this will tell me if I’m in the hurtlocker for good ie)  Arthritis, bone on bone,  repairable meniscal damage ,  etc etc.  Until I get those details let us not speculate. 

The one thing I will say, I have had a number of very positive conversations with some knowledgeable, experienced people in the field, both doctors and recovering athletes alike.  One such standout for me was with Kevin Mackinnon from Ironman.com.  Kevin is a former Ironman now coach and managing editor at Ironman.com, a graduate from Ryerson University.    Kevin endured a complete menisectomy  a few years back and has recovered enough to stay fit.  Additionally, coaches  a runner that experienced the exact same symptoms and injury progression .  His student, in a similar age category, had the meniscal surgery,  some repair and edge removal only to return a few weeks later and continue competing and has been for over 2 years pain free.   Who knows, maybe I am in the similar situation.

I have now returned to full physio and what I call “building a runner”.    I’ve mentioned it in the past, now  is the perfect time to start from ground zero.  I’m currently pushing a number of key exercises to rebuild the VMO ( note picture).   The picture doesn’t do it justice, but essentially,   this is where my issues originated from.  I virtually have zero VMO on my left quad.  Additionally, the muscle atrophy of being on the shelf has only deteriorated further.  Moreover,   this injury does not limit my opportunity to work a core and weight program which we have started.  All real easy stuff for 4-6 weeks .  I jumped on the scale at my mother in law’s place on the weekend ,  we are back to 177 (a full 10lbs of fat addition) Not so bad, suppose it could be worse, but I need to now get right off the booze, sugar and useless carb intake.   

Some of the keys workouts;  quad over fulcrum,  static knee resistance band extension, and static inner quad contraction.   All isolated work outs to get that VMO back up and firing.   If surgery is a reality, this will only help get me back sooner.

So welcome, comeback 3.0,  I relish this challenge and fully intend to rock this.   Take note of the inspirational quote .

“as you get older it becomes less of a chore to run and you realise what an awesome privilege it is”  - Nick Willis

Nail on the head Nick.  If you are reading this and not seizing the day in some shape, way or  form,  then you are missing out on something so rich, I can’t do it justice by putting it into words, so I won’t!

Keep your fingers crossed for me,  the Boston Dream lives on!

Four Weeks Off

Wow, I’ve been off for a month. Brutal. I don’t like it. Actually, I detest it. The warm weather is here, runners are everywhere in shorts, comp sox, brand new sexy spring runners. I felt really crumby this morning so I thought I wouldtake  the kid out for a stroller ride at least get some fresh air and exercise.  So don't I see this very fit, very fast runner, with her ironman gear on, full on fuel belt and mizuno mushas (Hack’s shoe!) go blazing by me using the bike route on Dundas in the beach. She had this huge smile on her face like Chrissy Wellington. Envious I am because I knew exactly what she was doing. She was running my 8 mile hilly tempo route. That was so in my face! I actually feel like the dude in those adidas commercials from last year. You know, the ones where he breaks up with “running” but sees “running” everywhere. I went back through my diaries and running logs, I haven’t been off this long since it all began six years ago. Once again, keeping with the positive, I’m pretty lucky I suppose, it could have been worse. Additionally, I have managed to keep those 40lbs off I initially lost, I have to be proud of that surely.

THE KNEE STATUS

Its hard to say where I’m at right now. There was a time yesterday while taking the boy out for a wagon ride, uphill I might add, that I felt great. In fact I didn’t feel any pain at all most of the day. I get up this morning, and I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. It actually kind of feels like it did after the first week off. Even after stretching and chugging back a couple of ibuprofens it still feels crappy. I might seek a second opinion if I don’t see any progress in a few weeks. A fellow runner buddy of mine thinks its not my meniscus at all and that it could actually just be an inflamed plica. Maybe that would be alright, I would take inflammation over a tear any day. Nonetheless I suppose time will tell. In the meantime, nothing wrong with strengthening the knee, specifically the vastus medialis.

Here is the w/o and phsyio I am working on now. Everyday. It feels good to at least do something. I am really hopeful to run a fall marathon and train again this spring and summer.

http://www.whyiexercise.com/knee-strengthening-exercises.html

There is always a positive

 even when you DNS on the first race of the year. The Burlington half was this past Sunday. Not only was I stoked for it, I was looking for a winter PB!  It was suppose to be my tune up for the Bay Race 30K in a few weeks. I’m actually still in denial, I went and picked up my kit like I was going to toe the line on Sunday. I sold myself on the idea that I should “get my free shirt, I mean I did pay for it”. The truth, I was secretly hoping that something magical would happen and I would just wake up Sunday without any pain. Just to rub a little salt in the wounds, Sunday morning was a spectacular day, like the quintessential day for racing. Its over, whatever, move on.

So the nuts and bolts of it, It looks like I have a grade one sprain or possible tear that has put an official halt on the Boston pursuit for now, or has it? The truth is, I’m 23 minutes in arrears of the required Q time. That translates to a minute a mile I need. In reality, it may even be a faster time that I will need now as the regs for Boston have changed a little. No need to get into the specifics of it, other then to say if I really truly want this, I can’t just lace em up and run. Its obvious those days are over I have to make wholesale changes and commitments.

Next week, the road to recovery, the path for the rebuild, the pursuit for glory. The runners blog will be.....a stretchers/physio blog? I dunno. Something like that. The point is, don’t give up on me. I will do this. I will make this happen!

A quick thumbs up to Dylan Wykes, a very fast Canadian runner of ours trying to make the Canadian Olympic standard time. It unfortunately didn’t happen for him over the weekend in Japan, citing some GI issues that took over early and often forcing him out. All I can say is “Chin up brother”, that is the beauty of this sport, its so rare to have it all come together, but when it does, which has been the case for Dylan several times in his career, its pretty special.

Here is something really special for you all. It really sums it all up.....

Keep fightin, always!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBSU9kkSC3I&feature=related